Just my 2 cents.......

by Otony, Thursday, January 01, 2015, 11:26 (3555 days ago) @ Paul

.........I met my wife at church in 1999. She was (is!) a sweet young thing, 18 years my junior. I befriended her, but things never went further than that due to life circumstances. A few years later we both realized we had joined the same mutual admiration club, but I was hesitant due to our age differences. I pointed out that my parents (now deceased) would need assistance soon, and that I was beholden to be the family member to help them.

Her reply was that I was stupid for worrying about the age difference, as that situation was common in Europe. She is from Russia, and my parents were from Sicily, so I knew that much was true. BTW, that wasn't the last time she called me stupid for valid reasons.

Second bit of news from her was that we are supposed to care for our parents when they age, not wharehouse them as is so common in the States. She considered it her duty and responsibility to help my parents as though they were her own. She also pointed out that I was likely to need care as I aged, and that would be her job as well.

Well, we married in 2004, when I was 49 and she was 31. We have a pair of beautiful children, ages 6 and 9. We live in completely different circumstances then what we had when we met, now own 4 acres, have a substantial orchard, grow a significant portion of out fruit and vegetables, chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, tractors, you name it.

Is it all due to her? No, it is all due to us, with a capital U and a capital S. We motivate each other to reach our goals together. We are a team, and what we have I would have NEVER had on my own. Some maybe, but not all. And beyond the material success is the spiritual companionship. That is immeasurable, and far more valuable. I have a friend....for life.

Now, I would never suggest that because it happened for me, it will happen for everyone. Nor would I expect the situation you've described to work. But there seemed to be an under current of disapproval for any such relationship, and that simply won't do.

Fact is, even in church it was unlikely that I would have found an American girl willing to help care for my dementia ridden parents. Or one interested in a relatively poor, aging mailman. Could it have happened? Sure! But the attitudes of females from non-Amercan cultures makes it far more probable. I can certainly see an older gent dreaming of a younger mate, or an older woman for that matter! How healthy the situation might be is one thing, but don't discount the idea all together.

And the lust thing? Well, suffice to say that we have chosen to not have any more children due to my age (and hers now as well, come to think of it)...........not my ability. My youngest will graduate from high school when I'm 71 years of age. God Willing, I will be there to see it. I didn't think it prudent to push that envelope, as I'm certain my daughter's "grandpa" being present will be embarrassment enough to serve all our family, but I assure you that not only is the spirit willing, the flesh is far from weak. I am vain enough to hope that won't change to terribly much in the future.

Otony