I've only fired one .40 S&W, a full-size M&P
Recoil was utterly unremarkable.
As to whether it's a good choice for your neighbor, if he doesn't want a revolver, then I'd say yes.
The .40 is pretty much the centerfire standard caliber now, just as the .38/.357 were some thirty years ago.
Standard is good when it comes to noobs: It avoids confusion and needless questions that can be pursued later on if desired. Up front, it's usually better to stick to basics.
HTH 
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Complete thread:
- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges -
Alfred John,
2013-03-15, 13:08
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- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges -
Sarge,
2013-03-15, 13:54
- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges -
Alfred John,
2013-03-15, 14:11
- 40 S&W - Todd C, 2013-03-15, 23:39
- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges -
Alfred John,
2013-03-15, 14:11
- I shoot more 165 grainers than 180s - stonewalrus, 2013-03-15, 14:16
- My wife and Daughter like their G23s and 27s... -
Rob Leahy,
2013-03-15, 15:00
- My wife and Daughter like their G23s and 27s... - Otony, 2013-03-15, 19:16
- My wife and Daughter like their G23s and 27s... - stonewalrus, 2013-03-15, 19:55
- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges - Slow Hand, 2013-03-15, 20:20
- evolution - bj, 2013-03-15, 22:22
- I've only fired one .40 S&W, a full-size M&P - FOG, 2013-03-17, 07:11
- Questions on the S&W 40 caliber cartridges -
Sarge,
2013-03-15, 13:54