He just sent me the following note through one of his dedicated case workers.

We have a Donation Funds worth THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS. ($ 300,000.00.) For you, From Bill & Melinda Gates foundation. Get back to me for more details on how to claim this funds.Regards,
Alva White.

It was sent from an address at a regional health care center in Peru with a reply to at an "IMF Unit" address. Totally legit, I'm sure. Can't believe my great fortune. Apparently I've misread Gates all these years.