Sir, many, many months ago, likely longer then that, perhaps a year or more, maybe in the early dawn of this board, I promised you a Tyler T-Grip. In fact, I promised you a BRONZE T-Grip, not a gold anodized T-Grip, but real Bronze T-Grip. I made mention of the fact that it was hidden in the house, whereabouts unknown (but not in or on a cloud).

Sir, I have looked for said T-Grip for lo, these many months and years since without success or profit. I had resolved myself to failure in this endeavor, having torn up my damnable garage and storage shed too many times, only to find little more than dust bunnies. I have hung my head in shame, ridiculed by my peers for my inability in presenting this treasured bauble to you in short order.

Sir, I beg to report that in moving from one house to the other, my wife, whose other charms and attributes are innumerable, was so good as to find my missing Big Box O' Grips N' Shite in my daughter's bedroom closet, placed there no doubt by nefarious members of the democratic party (you will notice I neglect to capitalize the bastiges, they do not deserve that honor), wherein said Bronze Tyler T-Grip had been resting and ready, waiting upon your pleasure.

Sir, my mind is not what it once was, if indeed it ever was, so I am unable to recall on which resolver you intended to install this buttery smooth, well made, Bronze Tyler T-Grip. Normally this would not pose much of a dilemma, how ever! The aforementioned Big Box contained not one, but two T-Grips, one meant for a K-frame Smiff & Western, t'other intended for a Colt's Dick Special.

Sir, if you would be so kind as to bring me into enlightenment regarding which of these buttery smooth, well made, hunks of burning, burning bronze is yours, along with a destination address I will endeavor to have it delivered to you forthwith, post haste, and with all due speed.

Sir, I remain your humble, if sadly verbose in a written sense, servant,

Otony